Wednesday, 12 December 2012

If you need a friend I'm here

Hey Blog Readers :)

Ok so this is a complete random and different blog but I felt that it was necessary-especially given the time of year...

There are so many families this Christmas who are spending Christmas without a loved one-This is hard no matter what the circumstances are but especially hard if they have lost a loved one through suicide: I simply can't imagine how extremely difficult that must be to come to terms with... I had a friend who died not of suicide but of Meningitis, three years ago this Christmas (Stephens day) and being honest I can say that every single day is a struggle. Not a single day goes by when my heart doesn't break a little bit more each time I think of her.. then last year I lost my aunty Della (actually my great aunt but I called her aunty Dell). I feel like my life ended the day Sadhbh passed away because since then I have become the biggest worrier in the world... I am suddenly so aware of death when I once thought I was invisible, I suffer from panic attacks, I've had days when I've just cried and cried and not been able to do anything, I've collapsed and all that when the last few years are also from the outside when people may have thought I was the happiest-due to modelling etc... and yet for me modelling is my escape: I love it so much don't get me wrong but it's what I put all my energy into in order to not think too much about life and how heart-broken I am since my friend died. My point is not everyone is as happy on the inside as you think they are from the outside... so don't judge a book by it's cover.

Now I am a very sensitive person and I don't think I will ever feel completely whole again. I worry so much about more of my family/friends dying-It's not even normal: If I think about it too much I freak out... because that is the worst thing about life... everyone lives and everyone dies... I cant even turn my phone off at night because I have drilled into my head that I'll get bad news if I do (the last time I turned my phone off at night was Christmas night'09). Anyway despite the fact that I don't think I will ever be full and genuinely, simply, happy at happiest form again... I have tried my best to take something positive from all of this... and that is LIFE IS SHORT. Please don't waste your time... live it to the full! and by that I don't mean go and do stupid things that put your life at risk... no, love your life and cherish it... look at nature and the life that is in everything even little insects in the ground and respect that. Respect the wonders and the beauty of the world and whatever your dreams are-FOLLOW them! When people are negative it can be hard to cut-them out: especially if you are a sensitive person but don't let their negative aura dampen or put out your light! Everyone has a light and your light shines brightest when you are doing what you love!

What has really touched my heart and made me so sad and so angry at the same time is the amount of stories that have come out recently about people (lots of young people) taking their own lives due to internet bullies and bullies in general... this makes me sick that the bullies could be so nasty to drive a lovely young person (or any person) with their whole life ahead of them to take their own life. I don't even have words to describe how utterly devastating these stories are! What makes me equally as sick is seeing statuses such as one I read which said: "I wish all these people taking their lives would have just stuck up for themselves!!" Are You Kidding Me??!! NO! why should they have had to stick-up for themselves?? They shouldn't need to stand up for themselves! because people shouldn't be so Horrible to another human-being in the first place!! Now nobody says you have to get a long with everyone in life-That isn't possible but if you have nothing nice to say don't say anything at all... don't hold hate and nastiness against another person-Just concentrate on yourself and be the best you you can be!
Bullying isn't just about name calling/physical abuse etc... Bullying can be a group of people completely ignoring or outcasting one person.. without anything being actually done to the victim but purposely excluding one person! Sometimes I don't even think some of these people realise they do's like group mentality SO think hard if you've ever done this & please change your ways: if you see this happening Be a friend to someone who might need you!

I absolutely hate to think that a person could be feeling this lonely and if you are genuinely one of these please private message me and I will happily be your friend (now I have to keep my own safety in-check so I will know whether to feel any messages are from genuine people or someone trying to abuse my offer). If you genuinely need someone to talk to I am happy to chat and I feel I am quite good at giving advice...
If you are reading this and you feel alone please know you are not alone!

Please remember...

I get so much negativity but the best thing to do is let positivity outshine negativity! It can be hard to do but please focus on the positive in your life and it is always always there! even if it is just the smallest thing: Every night why don't you write down or just say to yourself what you are grateful for from that day.... I do this and I find it puts me in a good place: even if I've had a shit day and I have to try to think really hard about what has been good that day-it helps :)

This video also really encourages and helps me when dealing with negative people :) I'm actually even thinking of creating my own video on this topic.. because I've dealt with a lot of negativity in my life.. especially over the past year when I have been doing the modelling so I believe I would be good at advice: The truth is as the video says... The only way certain not to get negative people in your life is to do nothing, expect nothing from your life and be completely mediocre.. because if you do that nobody will feel threatened and feel you are getting above yourself and therefore nobody would have any reason to hate on you.. although lets face it "haters are gonna hate" so why limit yourself to anything but greatness :)

If you are someone who has treated people badly you can change this now! Don't be that person!
Nobody knows how another person is feeling... for example the nurse in London who took her own life due to a practical joke and prank phone call... you just never know what someone is going through that day and the one thing you say (that you might even think is nothing or is funny) might be what makes them feel that little bit worse when they already feel down inside.

On the other hand let your light be so bright that it rubs off on other people: If you have something positive to say don't keep it in-SAY it! Whether it's how nice someone looks, how lovely their hair is, what nice shoes... anything at all... put a smile on peoples faces and spread positivity.. smiling is infectious and so is positivity!

Please remember people who do the bullying or even if they aren't exactly bullying but just aren't exactly very nice.. In other words "Negative Nancies" are the ones with the problem! They have an anger inside them which has nothing to do with the victim... it's just a problem that they have and they are letting it out in the wrong way. It's very sad that we live in a society that is turning in on itself and looking for someone to blame and take anger out on.

Please don't be so quick to judge! As a society we are taught to comment and judge people based on things that are totally superficial such as "He's Fat/thin/spotty/ugly/lanky/bushy-eye brows/big nose/clothes are weird/long hair/short hair/one of them/not one of us/rich/poor/not talented..BLAH..." all these stupid types of things which at the end of the day have no significance and make no difference to the important aspect of life which is simply 'is that person a decent human-being'... I am not telling you to be nice to someone who isn't nice to you.. that is not what this blog is about but I choose to live my life of judging another by one simple thing... are they nice to me or not?... SIMPLY as Eminem says...

If you feel you have no friends remember what's worse than having no friends is having a bad or negative friend in your life: those people drain you. So cut them out and find something else that you can be passionate about and express yourself through-whether that is modelling/drama/art/sports etc... and eventually that will raise your self-esteem and you will feel completely whole without the negative nancies which will attract new positive people into your life. I think as we get older we begin to realise that what other people think about us is none of our business... what matters is what you know about yourself. I believe we also realise that it is more important to have 1 good, genuine person in your life-whoever that may be then 100's of fake people. What I have noticed in many many interviews with successful people who are in the public eye is that they say they can count their friends on one hand-this is something to bare in mind.

I genuinely mean from the bottom of my heart that if you have read this and you are someone who is feeling very down or alone please know you are not alone and if you genuinely need to talk then message me and I will try my very best to help you in any way that I can and of course I'd keep it completely confidential.

This blog isn't meant to be cheesy I mean everything I've written and I love every single person who reads my blog and every person who has liked my page or sent me a nice message-You make me so happy :)

Lots of Love, 
Shahira Xo



  1. fantastic post Shahira!
    Will retweet this - you're brill babe! x

    1. Awh thank you Saibh :) I felt a little silly writing it but needed 2 get it off my chest :P xox

  2. HI Ya, some bloddy good stuff in there, some very real thoughts people need to think about and to surround themselves with nice people :)


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